"Her"

All I had ever heard about her were negative things; what she did to him, how she hurt him, what kind of person she turned into, how she pretended to be...

I listened to all of that, and from that, formed my opinion. I jumped on the bandwagon of bitterness, even though I, personally, had never been involved myself.

So here I was, stepping into BLAZE for the first time, and then I saw her face. The planted feelings of frustration, anger, and WHY IS SHE HERE flew into my head and was shared amongst the person standing next to me. We sat down, she sat in front of us. Eventually, we moved to the back of the auditorium to remove ourselves from the feelings. Just her very sight brewed up feelings that surely didn't belong in a BLAZE conference. But wait, I didn't even know her. Oh well, I guess I already knew about her... from biased people, of course.

Pastor Eric's message was fantastic, and I felt even more convitcted. He called for people to approach the altar/stage area, and I immediately started forward... until I saw her there, too. I stopped and turned back to who I was by with hesitation on my face, but continued forward anyway.

I stood far away from her, but there was someone who wasn't about to let me forget.

Amongst my prayers for myself and my own issues, God spoke to me so loud and clear; talk to her. He said that to me, and then I began to sob, realizing what I've been doing this whole time; judging someone I didn't even know. How dare I ride along with people who have known her and just go right along with their feelings. I felt awful for making things so awkward. She was at church for the first time in a long time last weekend, and I could hardly focus because I felt so weird about her being there. But it's only been so awkward because we've made it that way.

So, I approached her.. and for the first time, we actually carried a conversation. It wasn't anything hugely significant, and it definitely wasn't the opening door to a beautiful friendship or anything, but it was enough to make at least me realize that there is going to be enough room in the church for the both of us. And even despite the things I've heard, it still said something that she was making the effort nonetheless. I have to respect that.

But then, and here's where I'm a little puzzled, I heard something new--they're going to be together again. I don't know if that was the Lord who said that or the enemy. It could be the enemy because it's something that worries me, but it could be the Lord because it would be good for the little one. I just know that whatever the case may be, I need to be prepared, yet enjoy the time I have with him because I never know when it'll change.