Burning

Popcorn and Soda make for a good writing environment. I've wanted to blog since this morning, even way before the story I was going to tell had ended.

God spoke to me in the most powerful way today. I couldn't believe how strong he came at me, how much it caught me off guard, and how incredible it felt. After my amazing and emotional weekend, the connection between me and God has become so clear to me. I can't describe exactly how I feel about it... that's how strong it is.

I usually drive to Cheney everyday at 10.30 for a delivery route, but today I started going to Cheney and then Liberty Lake. Pretty sweet deal, don't you think? I leave at 10.30 after being at work for only 2.5 hours, then by the time I get back to the office, it's basically lunch time. I'm blessed; God knows what kind of things make me content in a job and He has provided me with those things. Anyway, on the way from Cheney to L.L., I decided to take a quick detour and stop by the future home of Jacob's Well. So I parked across the street from it and just sat there and looked. It just felt so right. I could, in an instant, see all of our happy faces roaming around on the other side of the glass. I can't wait! I drove by the small park nearby where we're meeting next week and felt even more excited. I want to spend more time in that area just hanging out and thinking; it was pretty peaceful.

Finally I decided to get back on the road, so I got onto Freya to make my way towards the freeway. On Freya between Fourth and Third Streets, I saw a young girl standing on the sidewalk with a sign in her hands that said, "Hungry & Pregnant." I'm ashamed to admit this, but I had zero thought about it. I treated that moment like I had treated every other moment of driving by a homeless person. I went on my way to the rest of my stops, and headed back to the office. On my way back, something hit me like a ton of bricks... the image of that young woman's face in my head. All of a sudden, I could not think of anything else but the young redhead with the light yellow sweatshirt and khaki pants and pregnant belly. At that moment, God told me loud and clear, you have to go to her. From then until my lunch break, I literally couldn't see one other thing in my mind except her face. This is exactly what we are being called to do. I couldn't believe I didn't see it, but God made sure to remind me what we were doing...

When it was my lunch time, I hopped in my car and raced to that same corner. I parked my car at Fred Meyer and walked over towards where she was...

But she wasn't there.

My heart sank into my feet and I felt such intense sadness. I didn't cry, but I just couldn't believe that God would tell me this message so strongly, get me to go back to that corner, and find that she wasn't there. For the rest of the day, I really just wondered why. Was it just a reminder to me that next time I should have acted sooner? What if there wasn't a next time? What if in that hour of me seeing her and then coming back, she was kidnapped or was hurt? And I could've prevented it by just noticing. I felt sad, but optimistic at the same time. I realized that there's always tomorrow. So I decided right then and there that I would be determined to go to that block every day at lunch until I had a chance to at least find out her name, even if I couldn't buy her a sandwich from the store.

When I got off work tonight, and started approaching the Thor/Freya exit, I thought, "Why not just check one more time, it wouldn't hurt." So I pulled off to the exit and started feeling those butterflies again. Then I gasped... there she was, right on the same corner, holding the same sign, wearing the same clothes, wearing the same face.

Thank you, Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you.

That's what I said as I frantically tried to find a place to park my car. And I parked, got out and approached her. She looked like she didn't expect me to talk to her, but I did. I asked her how it was going, what her name was, and if I could get her something from the store. She said she'd better not go anywhere because she was meeting someone soon. But I still let her know that a lot of my friends and I were going to be opening up a shop just down the street where you could just come to hang out. I also asked what she was having... she said a boy. I said if she came in, we could definitely hook her up with some baby stuff. She smiled big and said, "Sweet, thanks a lot!" We said our goodbyes and I walked back to my car, so happy yet so brokenhearted. She looked no older than 17. I hope with all of my heart that even though I didn't give her money or food, that she realizes that there is someone out there who will hope. And even if this one girl comes into Jacob's Well and I can give her just some food or some baby clothes, I'll be satisfied.

This is what it's all about. I feel so touched by God today and so thankful that he smacked me upside the head today.

I have the burning.