Waiting

I tried to make things go the way I wanted them, even claiming it was God's will! Well, maybe it is still His will for us to be together, but not yet. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I cried a little when he told me he needed some time to figure some things out. I really tried to help him get things figured out, but when he'd rather just hang out with me and not worry about that stuff... that's wherein the problem lies. He's an incredibly driven, motivated, and determined person with the potential to be something that the word 'successful' couldn't even touch, but got a little detoured by me and how good I was to him. So, now it's time to get back on track. I want him to do everything he's ever wanted and have everything he's ever dreamed of having--I don't want to be a hinderance to that at all! He said he felt like God was telling him he needed to get right with Him first; get involved in a church again, hit the job search hard, figure out where he's gonna live, and then have me right there with him. I feel so good about that! I see something in his eyes that I've never seen before, and there's no way that I want to lose him.

So, I'm doing what I have to do-I'm letting him go. We're just taking a step back; hanging out a little less often, taking the seriousness away for a while, getting to know each other even better, and building a stronger foundation for something more a little later. I believe, now, that this is God's will, not mine, and that's what makes me feel comfort that we'll be together again. There's something real promising betweeen us, and I am not going to ruin it by insisting he either be together with me or nothing at all. I care too much about him to be selfish. I want to be there with him to celebrate his success, not stand in the way of getting there. I told him to take a step in faith by being with me. Now it's my turn to take the step in faith, believing that God will do what is best for both of us, no matter what. And now, I wait.