Lessons

When I was born as a Christian, I was so far from understanding exactly what Christianity was. I lived according to what I learned throughout my life, being baptized a Catholic. What this meant was I did an awful lot of judging. The person I judged the most was Jesse, by far. I saw where he struggled as a Christian and what his downfalls were, and criticized him for that. Of course, for whatever reason, I didn't realize I was doing a lot of the same things. More importantly, I wasn't there as a support to someone who has some struggles in their walk with Christ, someone who I really did love. Instead, I was just a confused, uninformed and critical baby Christian who just thought she had it all together. I mean, I'm sure that's another reason why God had it in His will for us to break up. It wasn't until we were apart that I realized that his struggles were no different, essentially, than anyone elses. Face it, we are sinners, and as much as I wanted to think that I was any more pure or sinless than someone else, I was wrong. I was missing the whole point. Jesus died on that cross as a sacrifice to those who believed in Him so that they could be free from sin and shame. That doesn't mean there is no reason not to sin freely, it just means that God understands we're not perfect; we'll never be like Him. At least there is a way to be forgiven for that. So, for me to be critical of someone for their sins is just unfair and I am sorry to Jesse for doing that to him.

Lord, tonight I thank you from the depths of my heart for teaching me the lessons I need to learn in order to be successful in this life. Everything comes at a price, though, and I understand that. I understand that in order for me to be learning everything I'm learning, I couldn't be with Jesse as much as I may have felt love for him. You are showing me things about myself, about relationships and about You that I would never have learned otherwise. I thank You for surrounding me with such loving and caring people. I feel so blessed for the opportunities You are giving me and the way You are molding me. I am Your clay, Lord, and I am ready to be handled and shaped into something beautiful. In the name of Jesus, I say Amen.